Kindness: Do Fries Come with your Christian Shake?

Kids can be mean and unforgiving sometimes. “Johnny hit me.” “So, I hit him back.” A kindergarten teacher noticed this as she watched them on the playground at recess. So, she resolved that for the good of the class, they needed a lesson in kindness. She told each child to bring to class a plastic bag and potatoes. She instructed them: “Put the name of your class mate who has done something bad to you on a potato. Use as many potatoes as you need. Then put the potatoes with the names on them in your plastic bag.” Some had one potato; two potatoes; three potatoes; four. Then, she said, “You are to carry your potato bags where ever you go for a week. As days passed by, the children complained. At the end of the week, it was show and tell time. The teacher asked, “Now kids, shake up your bags and tell the class about your bags?”   “Mine stinks.” “My bag got heavy.”

The teacher explained: “This is what happens when you don’t forgive your classmates for the bad things that they do to you. Carrying “I’m gonna get you back” stinks and gets heavier the longer you carry it.” The next week the playground was a kinder place.

Grown-ups can learn a thing or two about kindness, too, because the world has demonstrated in the past few weeks, it is no playground. Consider the meanness exacted on Kevin Gonzales and his family the last few hours of his life. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkwXjvkS/

Kevin, an 18-year-old U.S. citizen, was born in Chicago but had been living in Mexico with his parents, Isidoro González Avilés and Norma Anabel Ramírez Amaya, who had been deported years back. Kevin was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier this year. The cancer had spread to his stomach and lungs, and doctors said treatment was no longer viable. The physicians had recommended he receive comfort care at home until the end of his life. Following his diagnosis, Kevin’s parents had attempted to cross the border to see him in Chicago, but they were taken into custody by ICE agents and were put in immigration detention in Arizona. While his parents were detained, Kevin flew back to Mexico and was in the care of his grandmother. Last week, Kevin had issued a public plea for his parents to be released from custody so they could be by his side. On Saturday, Kevin was able to reunite with his parents in an emotional reunion, embracing his mother in a hug that resembled the finish line.

It was the culmination of months of prayer, a relentless effort and the community’s push to bring the family back together. Through it all, Kevin never gave up. He held on to his final wish, and Kevin woke up to his parents’ touch and care on Sunday. The 18-year-old spent his final moments surrounded by his family and friends, knowing his story touched millions who were all rooting for him to get what he had longed for. He died Sunday afternoon, with his parents by his side. Kevin’s mother attempted to re-enter the U.S. on two separate occasions before being caught. The most recent attempt was earlier this year, along with Kevin’s father. Kevin’s grandmother’s request for his parents to enter the country was also denied. Kevin’s father said, “Just to see my son, I would jump a wall, go through barbed wire; for that same reason, I say to myself, I would give my life for him.”  But others jumped walls to prevent this meeting, to deny kindness in the name of the law. When it came to their Christianity, kindness didn’t come with their shake.

Some Christianity can be a very mean place. Where do we find the kindness we need in an unfriendly world?  An equally important question is this: What comes with that kindness? As the kids like to say: Do fries come with that shake? Kindness does not stand alone. It comes with forgiveness because it is one of the nine qualities of the Fruit of the Spirit that God gifted his children on the Day of Pentecost when His Holy Spirit was poured out on His disciples in Acts 2. God expects the Body of Christ to live out the qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in their Christian walk. You cannot have kindness without forgiveness because forgiveness is an expression of kindness to self as well as others. 

We see this “forgiving kindness” in Ephesians 4:32 and played out in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:21-35. Forgiving Kindness does the whole body (of Christ) good.

First kindness does the Body good because it forgives deeply, no matter the debt. Second, kindness forgives truthfully, identifying counterfeit Christians unwilling to let go.  And thirdly, kindness forgives completely, with consequences good for the whole Body of Christ—physical and spiritually.

First kindness forgives, no matter the debt.  We see the quality kindness through forgiveness in Ephesians 4:32 and through the parable of the kindness of a  king who had compassion to forgive an uncollectible debt like God forgives. We see the principle of forgiving kindness in Ephesians 4:32: And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:32

Jesus tells this story to Peter to show how God forgives us, not seven times seven, but seven times seventy—in a word, completely. As the story goes there was a king who had a servant that owed him 10,000 talents. Unable to pay it, the king threatened to sell the servant and his family to settle the debt. The servant begged for forgiveness. We see the king’s response in 27: ²⁷ "And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.  

The king, out of love, released the servant from the debt, because it was uncollectible. It was the kind thing to do. It is unkind to expect someone to pay an unpayable debt. God responds to us the same way. God was kind to release us from our debt to him through Christ, his Son.

Some things you can never collect, so let go.  Beulah Mae McDonald forgave the Klansmen who hung her son Michael. Corey Ten Boon forgave the German officer who killed her sister. Let it go. Let it go. Boon is quoted as saying. God buries your sins at the bottom of the sea and posts a sign over the spot which says, "No fishing."

Kindness also identifies counterfeit Christians in the body of Christ.  The story goes that that same servant was insincere and a fraud toward the servant who owed him. He threw him in jail. How you treat others reflects your true heart—your issues. If you have a hard time forgiving those who have cheated on you, make sure that cheating is not your issue.  If you have a tough time forgiving prideful person, make sure that pride is not your thing. If you have a hard time forgiving those who lie, be on guard that telling the truth is not your issue. Church, don’t be counterfeit, two faced. Because we have been extended kindness by God through forgiveness, we need to do the same.

Finally, kindness does the body good when you consider the consequences of a life without it. The unforgiving servant suffered the consequences for his lack of kindness.  He was thrown in jail by the king. The negative consequence of unforgiveness is it imprisons you. Like the kids with the potatoes, the consequence of withholding kindness is heavy and smelly.

What a man sows, he reaps—good and bad. There is a positive side to forgiveness—physically and spiritually. Spiritually, forgiveness frees you. Physically, research shows there is an upside to forgiveness. It lowers blood pressure, lowers heart rate, and lowers the risk of alcohol or substance abuse. Kindness has consequences because it does the whole body—physically and spiritual. Be kindhearted, forgiving one another. 

So, class. It’s recess time. The Prime Principal will know what’s shaking with His class—the Church. Does kindness come with your Christianity? What’s in your sack?

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Read A Forgiving Fire--true story of kindness and forgiveness at:  aforgivingfive.com